Gen X Mama

I am drastically overweight and out of shape. I am about 800lbs overweight. Walking up 2 steps gives me exhaustion that can only be cured with Double Stuff’d Oreos. I congratulate myself when working out by eating a pie.

OK, so I am exaturating…a little bit. Realistically, I need to lose 40-50lbs. I am out of shape. I am always using the excuse that my weight gain is because I just had Lil’ E. He is now 3. I need to either have a new baby, find a better excuse, or just stop whining about my weight and do something about it. I personally feel that option 2 is the best way to go. But, I know that is the lazy girls way and short of having a baby (yeah, right! This womb is closed for business. FOREVER), obviously the best way to go would be to start getting in shape and losing the weight.

I would love to start running. Whenever I see runners, they seem so into it. Like zoned in on what they are doing and lost in their thoughts. These people look so serene and at peace. Very zen. It looks like such a great way to get in shape. So, what is the best way to get started? Have a friend talk you into running a 5K with her in four weeks (GULP).

In 2000, Helen Hunt and Mel Gibson starred in a romantic comedy called What Women Want. The basic story is about a narcissistic chauvinistic ad exec who can read women’s minds because he was zapped by lightning during a drunken cross dressing night. It’s a cute movie. But this is not a movie review. Towards the end of the film, Gibson gives a sales pitch to Nike’s Women Division. Here’s the clip from You Tube http://youtu.be/QyO6ayCb5rEYouTube (ignore the subtitles on the bottom)

I love this ad. As far as I know, Nike never really used this ad, but I wish they had. It totally makes me feel empowered to start running. There is just one problem. I AM LAZY. Oh yes. I will not mince words here. I can think of 50,000 things I would rather do than run. Here is a short list, in no particular order, of things I would prefer to do instead of taking a jog.

1. Sit on the couch, stuffing my face with chips and guacamole, watching LOST episodes on Netflix.

2. Drink wine.

3. Sit on a bench watching Wal-Mart people.

4. Sit on the floor cleaning my toilet. With my tongue.

5. Sit on the couch, eating Double Stuff’d Oreos, while watching The Goonies on Netflix.

6. Drink wine.

7. Sit and read all about what Brad and Angelina and the time and the color of their morning BM’s, in People magazine.

8. Stick hot shards of glass in my eye.

9. Drink wine.

10. Sit and blog about what I would rather do than run.

I think that sums it up pretty well. Problem is, I am still here, in fattyville, wanting the weight to magically disappear. What to do…

I guess I have no choice here. I must get up from my continuous sitting down position, put down the wine glass (GULP), pull up my big girl underpants (oh yes, they are quite big), and lace up my sneakers. And please, if you do happen to notice me passed out on the side of the road, just give The Dude the heads up.

I still don’t know exactly what this blog is about. But then again, I don’t think it needs to have a specific theme. I just feel the need to write out the random thoughts going through my mind and send them out into the endless void out there known as the internet. Infesting the world with my thoughts. And since I have been on hiatus for a while, it’s time to dive right back in.

So. A funny thing happened to me yesterday while enjoying my morning cup of joe. This past week I was visiting dearly loved family and was savoring the time left with them along with my legal stimulant addiction. Somehow, the conversation turned to politics and religion. A bit heavy for 8:00 am, eh? In one corner you had my cousin. An amazing, intelligent , savvy woman. Who also happens to be a staunch Christian, Conservative, Tea Party member. In the other corner you had moi, a sexy, classy, equally intelligent woman. Who happens to be THE staunch Liberal, Yankee, Jew. Oh yeah, it was on! We both brought it. She’s yelling her views, I’m yelling my views. It actually did get quite loud for a while. Meanwhile, innocent bystander cousin #2, who was caught in the crossfire was writing on FB that it was too early for this.

I’m not going to get into the details of what was said, especially since I don’t remember 3/4 of it. In the end though, there were no hard feelings. We finished our feisty debate and continued with the day. Now of course, one of the main reasons we were able to talk to each other again once we each wiped the mud off our faces, was simply because we are family. We respect each others opinions. We may not agree with each others opinions, but we respect each other. I knew that I would not be able to convince her I was right. Just as she knew the same. I will say though, that we BOTH made a comment or two that gave both of us pause and we were able to reflect on this later.

But this whole encounter did give me a major aspect to ponder. The simple fact that two people, two WOMEN, were able to convey two different opinions to each other is simply what this country is about. Freedom to have your own beliefs. Your own thoughts. And to have the freedom to share those. Some may not agree with said beliefs and ideas, but to have the freedom to say them is precious. The fact that I can write this blog and share my ideas with the world is important. Not so much that my ideas are important, but the fact that I can give them as often as I please. You don’t have to agree with me. You don’t have to listen to me. But it is my RIGHT as an American to share these views if I want and without fear of persecution from our government. It is a right that I take for granted a lot and forget to appreciate. Because of this debate with my cousin, I was able to remember that and smile.

It is quite sad that it has been six months since I have made a post to this blog. Busy? Yes. Nothing to say? Please.

Life has been hectic. And I had to put my blog on hold, much to the dismay of my faithful readers (you know, all 3 of you).  The Dude and I moved our family 1000 miles away from NY to GA for The Dudes career. X kids were not pleased. I did quite enjoy hearing the screaming coming from X Girl over the months and I quote…”Thanks for ruining my life Mom.” Well, your welcome daughter. X Baby is fine and X Boy is just excited that one of our bribes is a new dog, which we will fulfill soon.

Overall though, the X family is adjusting well and I look forward to sharing the trials and tribulations with all of you about a mom trying to hold it all together with a smile and headphones once again.