On the outside, I look like your average suburban woman. I have a loving husband, three amazing children & live in the “right” kind of neighborhood. Take the kids to activities. Field hockey, karate, story time, Girl Scouts, etc. I stay at home with my children. On the outside, it seems to the average person that I have the perfect life. And I pretty much do. Except for my secret. Yes, I have a secret. One that not many are privy to. Ready?
I am a…SLOB!!!!!!
Yup, I am a totally disgusting, unorganized, dirty, completely out of control slob. I hate cleaning, therefore, I simply don’t do it. I can’t stand dishes, loathe laundry, turn my nose up at dusting & detest cleaning toilets. Oh, also, floors annoy me, so I don’t bother with those. I never throw anything away, so the clutter is everywhere. Stuff gets put down somewhere & stays there for days.
Now, I will be the first to admit, I have always been like this. Learned it from my mama. She was a slob when I was a kid. Never cleaned anything up. Grew up with crap all over the place. When my room would get to the point where you could not see the floor anymore (which was often), I was not allowed out of it until it was clean. I could never understand why I had to clean, but my mother never did. Very unfair in my young mind.
I don’t enjoy being this way. I envy those that not only keep their homes clean, but enjoy cleaning them. Think they are a bit demented, but hey, whatever. I have a good friend who would take a day off of work to clean her house. Not because it was a disaster, but because she wanted to! She enjoyed it! She actually would get excited for it for goodness sakes! And then she would call me that night, when she was all done, basking in cleanliness glory. Never understood it.
I get into moods like that every once in a while. Go nuts for a couple of weeks, clean everything, get all caught up on laundry, make a “cleaning schedule” for myself that I would strictly follow for a little while. I was always in such a better mood when everything was clean! My husband was in such a good mood when he came home, knowing that he was coming home to a clean house. I knew where everything was. It was great! Then, my mojo would fizzle out, clutter would come, laundry would pile up & it was over. I was done!
Sometimes, I aimlessly walk around my house, looking at the mess in every room. The dust bunnies in pretty much every corner, papers & crap piled up, the crumbs on the floors, the dust everywhere. LAUNDRY, LAUNDRY, LAUNDRY! As I walk around, the overwhelming feeling of “where do I even start” takes over. I get so frustrated with everything, I say forget it! Nevermind, not gonna deal with it at all. I will then proceed to close my eyes to the mess, just accept it as who I am and do something else. Play with the kids, go online or even plop my butt on the couch & watch something off the DVR. I am the BEST at procrastinating when it comes to cleaning. I can find something, ANYTHING else to do. Even right now, instead of resolving the situation, I am blogging about it! I mean HELLO! WTF?????
But, I am noticing something. My children are getting to be slobs too. They don’t bother to pick up their stuff. I used to make my daughter keep her room clean & make her bed every morning. She got mad one day when I yelled at her for forgetting to make her bed & yelled to me “how come I have to but you never do!”. while of course it can be said that a child must do as they are told, she did bring up a good point. If I am supposed to be setting the example, but I am not, how can I expect her to do something that I NEVER do. I guess it has come full circle.
So, to all my faithful readers (all 3 of you), I am giving myself a challenge this great month of November. A cleaning challenge. But I need your help! I will be needing some strategies. Each blog will have a theme. And I will be looking for your advice. Give it to me straight!
Something to think about tonight…LAUNDRY!
Gen X Mama 
Let me know if you figure it out. I am the same way and it drives my husband insane! I don’t like it, but I just can’t bring myself to clean constantly only to have it messy within seconds.
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Dearie, I assure you your home is fine and you are not damaging your children. You only think it’s a problem because everyone is frantically cleaning when you come over. *cough*
Do I really have to send you a picture of my living room? Or kitchen? Or bedroom…
Besides, there is a very strong argument for the case that neatness is overrated. Try this on for size:
http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSN1618495320070319
Chill, baby. 🙂
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I almost had a panic attack reading this. I would clean it all up for you if I were there. I can’t sleep if I know there is a mess somewhere or unfolded laundry. It is really pain in the ass but I can’t help it.
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Alright chick..here is another thing we have in common.. I WAS you!! I grew up with a hoarder and our house was disgusting growing up.not as bad as the ones on tv..but pretty bad…I had some really bad habits when I lived on my own, lost some great roomates who couldn’t stand my messiness..many fights with my husband who is a neat freak…but now I am a neat freak.. I just know I am happier when my house is clean and organized and I remember how unhappy I was in my house growing up and how chaotic it felt.. and then one day I also realized ..what is the point of a beautiful house that I wanted so bad if I can’t keep it clean..why remodel it and make it the way I want if it is going to be gross? whats the point?? I am not overly Anal..somedays we don’t make the beds..no one see’s anyways..but the downstairs is always pretty much clean..if the dishes are in the sink they are in a soaking in a container.You can change if you want to..but if you don’t want to ..then thats ok too..but I actually am one of those people that loves to clean now.. I just find it very satisfying when it is done..
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Step 1- Understand and accept that not every prize, award, drawing, noodle necklace, and picture are worth keeping. Pick your favorites, set them aside, and toss the rest.
Step 2- The Container Store is your future BF. Look at your stuff and decide that it would look so much cuter if it was stashed in coordinated crates, baskets, and boxes. Then purchase with abandon. You can never have enough storage.
Step 3- Like Step 1, the “just one stomach flu away” jeans are not worth keeping, nor are the sweaters you haven’t touched in a year or two. Give them to someone who needs and appreciates them, and you will feel better for the good deed.
Step 4- Floors don’t have to sparkle, they just shouldn’t be able to host a buffet. Sweep in five minutes, swiffer in 3, and if you have sofas with elevated legs, get under there too. It looks so nice when you’re done.
Step 5- Pick convenient tools, like said Swiffers, Lysol wipes, whatever. Keep them in the cabinet in the room where they will be used. Wipe and toss. Don’t bother with green, just start with clean and go from there. One holier than thou activity at a time.
Step 6- Do a little each day and it will always be easier than trying to set the house on fire and claim the insurance. Good luck!
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Please tell me it wasn’t me that you were referring to 🙂
I get overwhelmed too!!! That is why I pick one room and clean it at a time. Then at least that room will feel good. I usually start with the kitchen because that is the center of the house…good luck!
I know you hate how I do the laundry, but on the plus side, I can get a load quicker than waiting for one per person…that way it doesn’t pile up.
Love the blog!!!!!
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