Tooth Fairy…BUSTED

Let’s travel back in time, shall we? To a better place, a world of peace, let’s travel to…2005.

It’s August 31, 2005. Evening. I am the mother of an adorable, sweet boy who just turned 2 a couple weeks before, and the mother to a precious daughter who is one day shy of her 5th birthday. The Dude is upstairs getting X Girl and X Boy ready for bed. I am bustling around the house cleaning and cooking in preparation for X Girl’s birthday festivities the next day. All of a sudden, I hear excited yelling coming from upstairs and my name being shouted to “Come quick!” I race up the stairs, preparing myself for the worst, a finger that has been severed and laying in a bloody mess possibly (let’s face it, The Dude was doing the supervision with the children and well…you never know…)? I race into X Girl’s room to find her jumping up and down with a bloody mouth. Before my heart fully stops, X Girl thrusts her little hand in front of me and say’s “Look Mommy! My tooth fell out!” And sure enough, it did. The tooth had been loose for several weeks and now, on the cusp of her 5th year of life, it had come out. I gingerly picked up this little piece of enamel as she started screaming “The Tooth Fairy is coming tonight!”

After the Tooth Fairy left that night, I was holding this little tooth in my room, staring at it in amazement. This tiny little tooth was the first one she got (btw, to the parents who have not been through this yet, the teeth fall out in the order they came in. Best you know this now instead of making the statement in amazement to your child’s ped. and having her look at you like your a moron when she say’s “yeah, they come out in the order they came in.) and gave me so much grief! But when it finally came through, I was so ecstatic by her little one tooth grin. I took such care in brushing that one little tooth. Keeping it clean. And now it’s gone? What do I do with it? Just throw out this piece of my daughter that I had taken such good care of? No, being the sap and deranged woman I am, I got a little jewelry box, documented the date, and threw the tooth in. I have been saving all her other teeth in there ever since and keep the box on a high shelf in my closet.

Fast forward 5 years, 4 months later.

After returning home from a weekend vaca (BY.MY.SELF.) The Dude and I were in our bathroom talking as I was unpacking my suitcase. He casually…CASUALLY say’s “BTW, X Girl was in our closet last night while getting ready for her shower and was looking around for a picture of you because she missed you (yeah right! The girl was snooping for presents!) and she found her teeth and now knows that there is no Tooth Fairy.” Ummm….I’m sorry…say that again? WHAT! I grill the man for hours under a hot lamp, depriving him of food and water until he tells me what I want to know. I ask him for specifics of the conversation. This is what I get:

“Ummm…I don’t know. She was sad and said that she knew we were the Tooth Fairy and I told her yes. And that we love her…ummm…I don’t know.” Seriously? I mean SERIOUSLY? Why would you not take minutes of this conversation that has destroyed our first born’s innocence? You are fired! That’s it. I’m Donald Trumping your ass! You are just frickin fired!

Facing her was even worse. Having to look my child in the eyes and admit that we had been lying to her for years? Not fun! She looked sad, hurt, betrayed. I felt awful. But, it was bound to happen. I have spent 10 years telling the girl lie after lie, in the name of “good parenting”. Joke was on me.

*Addendum* Here’s a question for you readers. The Dude and I seem to disagree (big shocker!) on what to do next. The girl still has teeth to lose. Do we continue giving her money? Does she still put it under her pillow? I mean, the jig is up. Does she just hand over the tooth when it comes out and we fork over $? Or, do we, as I have suggested, end it? She knows the truth, it’s over. There is no tooth fairy, it’s Mom and Dad, this is what happens when you snoop in our closet. The end. Opinions?